Thursday, April 14, 2011

Friend or Foe?


to say the least, this last month or so has been pretty interesting. we have experienced many new things, began new journeys, and decluttered our souls a bit, all the while learning a few valuable lessons. in my opinion each and every experience is worth while, even the bad one's. if we are taught a lesson, the hassles & frustrations that go along with it are irrelevant in the end. 
at this moment in time Nev desires nothing more than just a friend. and although her perception of a friend has not yet fully bloomed, the idea is beginning to stream in like delicate rays of sunlight inching their way through the peak of a mountain and beaming her right on the head. *zap*. I can almost hear the sizzle.
these rays can either burn her, or if used correctly, nourish her and help her grow.
 She can choose to run from them, avoid them, block them, ignore them, let them burn her up, or, she could immerse in them, using their natural resources as a learning tool and grow by them in every way possible.
growing wiser, stronger & healthier, by absorbing the light.
a friend. what is it.?
Nevadah came to me once not long ago and said "mom, i have no friends", and those words cut me like a jagged knife. She wondered if going back to school would solve her friend dilemma.
  but what does she mean by friends? so I asked her does she mean the kind of friends like she had when she went to public school? the one's who helped us decide that homeschooling was the best option for her after many, many frustrating years of torment? Like the friends who earn your trust, get you to their house and continuously make a fool of you by locking you out & daring you to climb to the roof through a bedroom window in hope you fall off to your demise?  the one's who called themselves your "friend" until the next day, when they changed their mind for no good reason at all leaving you in the dust all broken hearted?
if you haven't noticed, i don't take that F word very lightly.
Friendship is not supposed to be that way. Its not a title you take on when its convenient for you. A friend has unconditional love for you, feels your emotions along with you, and cannot be persuaded to turn against you. Do not accept any less.
I cannot stress enough to Nev the importance of friends, and in order to have them, you must be one. Too many people have not realized that concept as of yet, and this to me is sad.
being and having friends. these are some of the most important things in life. humans need other humans. its in our nature. i do not understand how people can be so disrespectful to one another, be so selfish, uncaring, egotistic and hostile.  Nev got to see first hand recently that sometimes adults are guilty of this as well, not only children. unfortunately her heartache was the result of it.  but she will persevere, because she is just that way, besides, what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. she is learning hands on that people will try to knock you down, belittle you, shatter your self esteem, and suck the life right out of you. it is a sure display of exactly how they feel about themselves, and how they have been treated in their lives.
So Nev, don't take it "personal" when these "bumps in the road" sneak up ya. remember stay true to yourself, don't forget you are a friend, and you are a star in many people's eyes, especially a little boy i know who adores you. you have helped him up when he has fallen, wiped his tears, guided him in safe direction, read to him, sing with him, taught him what trust is by always being his best friend. his big sis. his hero.
Do you remember when he was taking a bath a few days ago and you came into the bathroom grief stricken about something? he took one look at you, and said "don't be sad sissy, i'll be your best friend".
and your grief shattered into laughter and smiles, and so did mine.
not a bad observation from a 3 yr old who can see right through you, knows your desires, and your needs and at the same time knows how to console you, and why? because it has been demonstrated to him.
its called true friends. the real deal.
you love him with all your soul, to the deepest depths of your being, to infinity...and beyond! it shows, my dear. and this is how friends should treat other friends.  i know that you have it in your heart to be a true friend, and the day will come when you will be treated this way as well, and that is when you can call that person your friend.  the biggest misconception is that kids need school to make friends. not so. quite the contrary.  friends can pop up in the oddest and most interesting places. (isn't that right Bjay)?
how callow to limit children to one select group of kids to choose from, all within those mammoth walls of brick & mortar. lets explore the lands, meet people of all cultures and religions. they have so much to teach us, and we have so much to learn from them. lets experience their world. there are friends awaiting baby girl. just always remember the golden rule and you will reap the benefits.
lets try that new venture we were talking about because you deserve it. you deserve life at its fullest, with no expectations, no limits, no boundaries. the possibilities are infinite.
remember, i am your friend. i am your parent. and i am proud to be both.
thank you to everyone who has shown us friendship, love, compassion and for every single nice gesture you have ever bestowed upon us.
and thank you to all who hasn't, for we have learned from you. you have led us to higher ground.
and don't let the dust choke ya as we skip away into those sunbeams.
 i'd best go grab my sunscreen:)



~"Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light."~
~ Jennie Jerome Churchill





2 comments:

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  2. That is beautiful and almost a mirror image of what is going with my 9 yo dd. I wish I could get her to understand exactly all of the things you said. Thank you.

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